i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
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