if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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