remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
All I want is dick and wine.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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