It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Randomize
