have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
