yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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