Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
