she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
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