We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
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