even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
