A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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