it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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