He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
