I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
