I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
