you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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