Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
