so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
