Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
