I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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