i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
