Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
