I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Randomize
