Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
