i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
