dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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