Fuck appropriateness.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
