Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
