wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
