I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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