Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
