a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
