google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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