Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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