Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
