i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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