his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
