instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
