I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
