First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
