She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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