I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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