Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
