hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
