I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
