too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
