We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
