ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
God I need to hump something, right now.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
