it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
