I just cut my nipple shaving
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
In other news, I just burned my penis
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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