I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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